Christmas and the holidays are almost upon us and for many of us it's a hectic time of year getting everything put to bed so we can take some much needed time off to spend with our families and friends. It's also a great time spend working on ourselves.
I find it a great time to schedule myself in for my annual stock take and take an inventory of what I have achieved or learnt over the last year. Even if it hasn't been the best year on record and you've had a few lost battles it's great to look back and see what lessons we can take away from those obstacles we have encountered along the way.
It's essential we track our progress so we can make the necessary adjustments to stay on course and realistically once a year is not enough but certainly better than not at all other wise we may find our self with what Tony Robbins calls the Niagara syndrome we just drift along the river of life being swept along by outside influences until we find ourselves 5 feet from Niagara falls in a boat with no paddles.
Not only is it a great time to reflect back on our successes and lessons but a fantastic time to revisit our goals and assess whether they are still in alignment with what ever your life purpose is and remember goals are fluid things and they can change over time as we and life's circumstances change so it's important to re look at what exactly we are shooting for and if you find that your old goals aren't leading you where you want to go then change them, it's not failure its evolution as you grow as a person what you see as possible will change and your goals will get bigger, but be careful that you are changing them for the right reasons and not just because they are too much of a stretch.
Your goals should always stretch you and make you grow but they should also be realistic for example if your an overweight couch potato setting a goal to win gold in the 400 metres at the 2012 Olympics is not realistic but to set a goal to be able to run 5km within the next 6 months is.
By taking stock of your achievements, lessons and reviewing your goals over the holidays will set you in great stead for an exceptional 2012 and maybe even keep you from having one too many servings of turkey or pudding on Christmas day and have you chomping at the bit to hit the ground running into the new year.
So have a very safe and happy holidays, enjoy your time with family and friends, relax and refresh and I'll see you in the new year
Have an exceptional Holidays
Rob Larney
Director and Life Balance Mentor
Exceptional Life Balance
http://exceptionallifebalance.com
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Killing your Limiting Beliefs
Last week we spoke about finding your life purpose and I hope for some of you it helped in discovering or at least moving closer to discovering what that is for you. But as I said last week finding it and living it are two entirely different matters. Once you know what it is for you then you have to figure out how you're going to get it and you ARE going to encounter a few road blocks and obsticles and one of the BIGGEST obsticle you are likely to face is YOU or more correctly the false beliefs that you have gathered along the way that may stop you from ever even trying to live the life you truly want.
These beliefs have become ingrained in you from years of social conditioning by our peers, our families, our friends, colleagues, past experiences and even the media. You know the ones
"Money is the root of all evil"
"You can only get rich if you take advantage of other people"
"I'm not smart enough"
"If I change people won't like me"
You might have tried something once or twice and it didn't work out so now you associate failure to even trying or worse yet you know someone else that failed and they had a degree and you don't so what chance would you have right? WRONG!
Take some time out and have a think about what beliefs you have that are holing you back, Try this little exercise.
Identify something you really want
Now write down a list of all the reasons why you CAN'T yep you read right why you can't achieve it.
This is your list of limiting beliefs that you need to Erase and Replace.
Put your list somewhere safe for the moment we'll come back to it shortly as you put it way look at it and tell it to be afraid be very afraid.
Let me tell you a little story about fleas.
Did you know if you take a bunch of fleas and put them under a jar they will jump and jump repeatedly trying to escape in the process hitting the top of the jar and hurting themselves, eventually they will learn that trying to jump high will hurt so they will only jump to just below the top of the jar because to jump any higher will cause them pain.
Where the story gets interesting is that after a period of time if the jar is removed thos fleas will never try to jump any higher than the top of the jar even though they are capable of jumping much higher they now believe to do so will cause them pain. As people we can tend to be a lot like the fleas in that we try something a few times and experience some pain so we stop trying to reach higher over time we forget that we imposed these limitations on ourselves and we eventually believe that is all that is possible.
How do we get rid of these limiting beliefs and replace then with empowering ones that will serve us in designing our dream life?
One method is through regular visualisation. You see your mind can't distinguish between what is real and what is imagined so if in your mind you see yourself getting the results you desire enough times it will see it as already being done and of course if it sees it as done it believes it is possible.
Make visualisation a part of your daily ritual take 10 minutes first thing every morning before you start your day and 10 minutes every night before you go to sleep to visualise your life the way you want it. see yourself as already having or doing whatever it is you desire. Do this everyday and you will be amazed at the difference in your self belief.
Now it's time to have some fun
Go and get your list of CANT'S
Now on a seperate sheet of paper write down a new empowering belief to replace each of your old limiting ones
For example if you said
"Money is the root of all evil" replace it with something like
"Money allows me to help people less fortunate than myself"
Once you have your new list of empowering beliefs pick up your original list of cant's and kill it.
I mean really kill it, Stomp it under your foot, tear it to shreds, beat it with a stick, burn it give it the most violent death you can give it and feel how good it feels to get rid of them once and for all.
Now lovingly take your new list of empowering beliefs and put it somewhere you will see it everyday, the bathroom mirror is a great place and read them daily until you know them intimately.
Time to get UNREALISTIC. The people that have the most in their lives have always been the ones that never accepted that just because it hasn't been done before that it isn't possible.
People believed it was unrealistic to have light at the flick of a switch-Thomas Edison was unrealistic
People believed it was unrealistic to fly- The Wright Brothers were unrealistic
People believed it was unrealistic to run a mile in under a minute- Roger Banister was unrealistic
These beliefs have become ingrained in you from years of social conditioning by our peers, our families, our friends, colleagues, past experiences and even the media. You know the ones
"Money is the root of all evil"
"You can only get rich if you take advantage of other people"
"I'm not smart enough"
"If I change people won't like me"
You might have tried something once or twice and it didn't work out so now you associate failure to even trying or worse yet you know someone else that failed and they had a degree and you don't so what chance would you have right? WRONG!
Take some time out and have a think about what beliefs you have that are holing you back, Try this little exercise.
Identify something you really want
Now write down a list of all the reasons why you CAN'T yep you read right why you can't achieve it.
This is your list of limiting beliefs that you need to Erase and Replace.
Put your list somewhere safe for the moment we'll come back to it shortly as you put it way look at it and tell it to be afraid be very afraid.
Let me tell you a little story about fleas.
Did you know if you take a bunch of fleas and put them under a jar they will jump and jump repeatedly trying to escape in the process hitting the top of the jar and hurting themselves, eventually they will learn that trying to jump high will hurt so they will only jump to just below the top of the jar because to jump any higher will cause them pain.
Where the story gets interesting is that after a period of time if the jar is removed thos fleas will never try to jump any higher than the top of the jar even though they are capable of jumping much higher they now believe to do so will cause them pain. As people we can tend to be a lot like the fleas in that we try something a few times and experience some pain so we stop trying to reach higher over time we forget that we imposed these limitations on ourselves and we eventually believe that is all that is possible.
How do we get rid of these limiting beliefs and replace then with empowering ones that will serve us in designing our dream life?
One method is through regular visualisation. You see your mind can't distinguish between what is real and what is imagined so if in your mind you see yourself getting the results you desire enough times it will see it as already being done and of course if it sees it as done it believes it is possible.
Make visualisation a part of your daily ritual take 10 minutes first thing every morning before you start your day and 10 minutes every night before you go to sleep to visualise your life the way you want it. see yourself as already having or doing whatever it is you desire. Do this everyday and you will be amazed at the difference in your self belief.
Now it's time to have some fun
Go and get your list of CANT'S
Now on a seperate sheet of paper write down a new empowering belief to replace each of your old limiting ones
For example if you said
"Money is the root of all evil" replace it with something like
"Money allows me to help people less fortunate than myself"
Once you have your new list of empowering beliefs pick up your original list of cant's and kill it.
I mean really kill it, Stomp it under your foot, tear it to shreds, beat it with a stick, burn it give it the most violent death you can give it and feel how good it feels to get rid of them once and for all.
Now lovingly take your new list of empowering beliefs and put it somewhere you will see it everyday, the bathroom mirror is a great place and read them daily until you know them intimately.
Time to get UNREALISTIC. The people that have the most in their lives have always been the ones that never accepted that just because it hasn't been done before that it isn't possible.
People believed it was unrealistic to have light at the flick of a switch-Thomas Edison was unrealistic
People believed it was unrealistic to fly- The Wright Brothers were unrealistic
People believed it was unrealistic to run a mile in under a minute- Roger Banister was unrealistic
BE UNREALISTIC TOO
Have an Exceptional Week
Rob Larney
Director and Life Blance Mentor
Exceptional Life Balance
www.exceptionallifebalance.com
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Exceptional Life Balance: Life Purpose
Exceptional Life Balance: Life Purpose: It's been a truly amazing week for me this week because for the first time in 45 years I finally worked it out! Worked what out ?I hear you...
Life Purpose
It's been a truly amazing week for me this week because for the first time in 45 years I finally worked it out!
Worked what out ?I hear you ask..........My Life Ppurpose
It was one of those surreal moments when it hit me and what amazed me even more was that it was so simple that it was almost ridiculous. So what is it I'm talking about? this life purpose. It can be known as your motto, your guiding principal, your calling, your North Star. Whatever you care to call it, it is what you abide by for the goals. accomplishments and destinations you choose to pursue.
It has nothing to do with money, fame or who has the most toys, it has everything to do with your inner most desires and a feeling that you are truly pursuing the thing or things that make you happy. That being said how do you find it? and why do so many people including me up till now struggle to find what it is?
I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that many of us live in conflict to what we truly desire this can be out of fear, out of obligation or simply because we don't possess the right belief systems to think we could ever live the life we want. I think for me it was a combination off all of the above.
You may find that your life purpose like mine is made up of a combination of things that I previously believed were quite separate and in conflict with each other I really thought I had to choose one or the other I perceived them as being at complete different ends of the spectrum, I was so wrong.
If you have no idea what your purpose is that's OK because your not alone, most people sadly will never realise it or if they do they will be too fearful or even embarrassed to tell anyone. They'll tell themselves it's just a silly pipe dream to be realistic after all I've got commitments or I'm too old to go off chasing dreams, people will think I'm crazy or I'm just an ordinary person how could I evre make a difference.
Don't be one of those people you owe it to yourself to live a full and happy life.
I'd like to share some advise on how to find yours and hopefully the insight I have gained by finding mine will maybe short track the process for you. I sincerely hope so.
Identify what you love, not what you like but what you really love what you are really passionate about. Not what will make you the most money or buy you the biggest house but what you would do for free just out of love. I'll give you an example from my life.
I am a very passionate conservationist I love nature and I love wildlife as a result for many years now I have been a wildlife rescuer and rehabilitator now I don't get paid to do this work, I volunteer in fact it actually costs me quite a bit of money for food, medication, equipment and fuel going out to do these rescues, sick and orphaned animals also take a lot of my time. My other passion is personal development now I always seen this as a way to grow with the sole purpose of building my career, climbing the corporate ladder and when you have the high flying career then you don't have time to be rescuing baby birds, possums and snakes. hence my conflict.
What I failed to see that the two did not need to be separate.....So what is my life purpose?
"To contribute to make the world a better place
not just for humanity but for all of nature."
That's it! yes it"s that simple and how does that fit in with my passions of conservation and personal development? and how did I stop the conflict between the two?
Well because I have made personal development my business I get to not only grow myself I get to help other people in the process achieve their dreams and the fact that I can run my business from home I have more time to dedicate to my wildlife work and as I fulfill my financial goals through my work It gets me closer to my dream of buying land to use as a sanctuary to rehabilitate the animals to be re released to the wild but also as a safe place for the ones unable to go back to live out their days. so you see I get to contribute to make the world a better place not just for humanity but for all of nature.
Take some time out to think about what it is you are truly passionate about don't worry about whether or not you think you can do it, just identify it we'll talk about overcoming your limiting beliefs another time because discovering your life purpose and living it are two different things but I can assure you once you discover it you'll be so excited nothing will stop you from pursuing it.
Have an exceptional week
Rob Larney
Director and Life Balance Mentor
Exceptional Life Balance
www.exceptionallifebalance.com
Worked what out ?I hear you ask..........My Life Ppurpose
It was one of those surreal moments when it hit me and what amazed me even more was that it was so simple that it was almost ridiculous. So what is it I'm talking about? this life purpose. It can be known as your motto, your guiding principal, your calling, your North Star. Whatever you care to call it, it is what you abide by for the goals. accomplishments and destinations you choose to pursue.
It has nothing to do with money, fame or who has the most toys, it has everything to do with your inner most desires and a feeling that you are truly pursuing the thing or things that make you happy. That being said how do you find it? and why do so many people including me up till now struggle to find what it is?
I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that many of us live in conflict to what we truly desire this can be out of fear, out of obligation or simply because we don't possess the right belief systems to think we could ever live the life we want. I think for me it was a combination off all of the above.
You may find that your life purpose like mine is made up of a combination of things that I previously believed were quite separate and in conflict with each other I really thought I had to choose one or the other I perceived them as being at complete different ends of the spectrum, I was so wrong.
If you have no idea what your purpose is that's OK because your not alone, most people sadly will never realise it or if they do they will be too fearful or even embarrassed to tell anyone. They'll tell themselves it's just a silly pipe dream to be realistic after all I've got commitments or I'm too old to go off chasing dreams, people will think I'm crazy or I'm just an ordinary person how could I evre make a difference.
Don't be one of those people you owe it to yourself to live a full and happy life.
I'd like to share some advise on how to find yours and hopefully the insight I have gained by finding mine will maybe short track the process for you. I sincerely hope so.
Identify what you love, not what you like but what you really love what you are really passionate about. Not what will make you the most money or buy you the biggest house but what you would do for free just out of love. I'll give you an example from my life.
I am a very passionate conservationist I love nature and I love wildlife as a result for many years now I have been a wildlife rescuer and rehabilitator now I don't get paid to do this work, I volunteer in fact it actually costs me quite a bit of money for food, medication, equipment and fuel going out to do these rescues, sick and orphaned animals also take a lot of my time. My other passion is personal development now I always seen this as a way to grow with the sole purpose of building my career, climbing the corporate ladder and when you have the high flying career then you don't have time to be rescuing baby birds, possums and snakes. hence my conflict.
What I failed to see that the two did not need to be separate.....So what is my life purpose?
"To contribute to make the world a better place
not just for humanity but for all of nature."
That's it! yes it"s that simple and how does that fit in with my passions of conservation and personal development? and how did I stop the conflict between the two?
Well because I have made personal development my business I get to not only grow myself I get to help other people in the process achieve their dreams and the fact that I can run my business from home I have more time to dedicate to my wildlife work and as I fulfill my financial goals through my work It gets me closer to my dream of buying land to use as a sanctuary to rehabilitate the animals to be re released to the wild but also as a safe place for the ones unable to go back to live out their days. so you see I get to contribute to make the world a better place not just for humanity but for all of nature.
Take some time out to think about what it is you are truly passionate about don't worry about whether or not you think you can do it, just identify it we'll talk about overcoming your limiting beliefs another time because discovering your life purpose and living it are two different things but I can assure you once you discover it you'll be so excited nothing will stop you from pursuing it.
Have an exceptional week
Rob Larney
Director and Life Balance Mentor
Exceptional Life Balance
www.exceptionallifebalance.com
Monday, 21 November 2011
Knowing your "WHY"
A HUGE part of achieving any sort of success is consistency. Consistency to take action, Consistency to do it a little bit better than last time but I believe most importantly of all Consistency to remind ourselves just WHY we're doing what we're doing.
All to often we get caught up in the day to day dramas of life and business which can lead to the real danger on focusing on the wrong things and putting out the spot fires, now don't get me wrong we have to deal with all spot fires when they arise but not to the point that's all we focus on because if we do that then that's all we see and your dream starts to fade away and all we are left with is the work and the stress.
People primarily have two motivating factors, their desire to experience pleasure and their desire to avoid pain and which one determines their actions will be determined to how the perceive they pleasure/pain ratio.
Like the old Divinyls song says "There's a fine line between Pleasure and Pain"
If we only concentrate on the problems and forget why we are waging war on a mediocre life our nervous system will perceive our pursuit as painful and send messages to the brain to move away from it but if we remember to regularly review our goals, look at our vision boards, visualise our successes and give thanks on a daily basis our nervous systems will link pleasure to handling those problems because it brings us closer to what we want.
Again like most things it's all a matter of perception and what we choose to focus on. So remember to focus on your WHY and the how will take care of itself.
Have an Exceptional week
Rob Larney
Director and Life Balance Mentor
Exceptional Life Balance
www.exceptionallifebalance.com
All to often we get caught up in the day to day dramas of life and business which can lead to the real danger on focusing on the wrong things and putting out the spot fires, now don't get me wrong we have to deal with all spot fires when they arise but not to the point that's all we focus on because if we do that then that's all we see and your dream starts to fade away and all we are left with is the work and the stress.
People primarily have two motivating factors, their desire to experience pleasure and their desire to avoid pain and which one determines their actions will be determined to how the perceive they pleasure/pain ratio.
Like the old Divinyls song says "There's a fine line between Pleasure and Pain"
If we only concentrate on the problems and forget why we are waging war on a mediocre life our nervous system will perceive our pursuit as painful and send messages to the brain to move away from it but if we remember to regularly review our goals, look at our vision boards, visualise our successes and give thanks on a daily basis our nervous systems will link pleasure to handling those problems because it brings us closer to what we want.
Again like most things it's all a matter of perception and what we choose to focus on. So remember to focus on your WHY and the how will take care of itself.
Have an Exceptional week
Rob Larney
Director and Life Balance Mentor
Exceptional Life Balance
www.exceptionallifebalance.com
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Make it so easy a child could understand it!
Welcome to another exceptional week.
This week I'd like to relate a conversation that I had with my eight year old son Robbie on the weekend about changing our thoughts to change our emotions, now I know what your thinking pretty heavy conversation to be having with an eight year old and to be honest it was so I should give you all a bit of background on why I was having this Father Son talk with my little bloke.
A bit over two years ago his Mum and I split up and these situations are always hardest on the kids and unfortunately it has affected Robbie's self esteem and as a result he often becomes quite sad and suffers from pretty bad anxiety. Last weekend the little fella was having one of these moments so I took the time to sit and have a chat which is not easy when he gets in this sort of mood but I persisted.
I won't go into all the details of the situation but after a little while he began to get involved in the conversation and I asked him how he was feeling and he said "I'm angry" I then asked him do you like to feel that way and he replied "No but I can't help it" then I said you know you can change that right now if you want to!
He looked up with a frown and said How? I explained in the simplest terms that our feelings are controlled by what we are thinking about. He looked at me and said I don't believe you Dad we can't change the way we feel that's just how we feel if I hurt myself it's not going to not hurt just because I think it's not. I went on to explain that I wasn't talking about physical pain and he was right if you put your hand in a fire and think about it being cool your going to get your hand burnt but feelings like sadness, anger and happiness can all be changed by what we think and we can change them anytime we want.
I asked him to try something and he said What? I asked him how he was feeling now and he replied I'm still angry so I said OK I'm going to do some things and you tell me how I'm feeling, he reluctantly said OK. So I sat up straight put my shoulders back and chest out and grinned the biggest cheesiest grin I could and said so how am I feeling? He answered happy. Next I slumped my shoulders, lowered my head and let my face go slack and said How do I feel now? He answered Sad. Lastly I crossed by arms and put a frown on my face and said How do I feel now? He answered angry.
I said OK mate so how did you know I was happy? he said your were smiling, OK how did you know I was sad? he said you put your head down, OK what about angry how did you know I was angry? he said your eyebrows. Hmm I said so now I want you to do something. At first I was met with I don't want to Dad I'm not in the mood but eventually he was up for it. I asked again how are you feeling? annoyed he replied I told you Dad I'm angry. I said to him sit up straight , put your shoulders back, chest out and smile, no bigger c'mon really smile. He did and I asked again and straight away he slumped and went back to his angry posture and said I'm still angry. No I said you need to stay up straight and smiling when you answer after about four attempts he was able to stay in his happy position when he answered and this time the answer I feel a little bit less angry.
Next we spoke about what he thought about when he felt bad and I asked him when you feel sad or angry do you think about the things that made you sad or angry and he said yes. So I well if sad thoughts make you sad how do you think happy thoughts will make you feel? He answered with a cautious Happy?
I went on to tell him his mind was like the bush and when our thoughts travel the make tracks. I then asked him whats the easiest way to get through the bush and he said "The way you know" OK but what do you walk on? he said the tracks. Uh Ha!
I explained that because he thought those negative thoughts a lot that this made a big wide track that his thoughts found it easy to go down so I said we need to make a new track and stop using the old one and explained that if we did this with good thoughts to make the new track and stopped using the old track by thinking bad thoughts that the bush would grow over the old track which we named "Cranky Road" and his mind would get used to driving down the new one called "Happy Road" He looked at me and I could see his young mind grasping the idea so we had to create some happy thoughts that he could use and we spent a while talking about all the fun times we've had and he got his first lesson in visualisation. We then agreed that it's always more fun driving down the road with some great music so I told him we need to take his old C.D. of sad songs out and we did, we then got a knife and scratched the C.D. so it couldn't play anymore then we made up some silly funny songs to go on the new C.D and I got him to pop in back in the top of his head and I pressed his nose for the play button and sang the silly song, he found this hysterical and really began to laugh.
I then asked him was he still angry and he looked at me and said oh yeah I forgot about that.
Have an exceptional Week...
Rob Larney
Director and Life Balance Mentor
Exceptional Life Balance
http://exceptionallifebalance.com
This week I'd like to relate a conversation that I had with my eight year old son Robbie on the weekend about changing our thoughts to change our emotions, now I know what your thinking pretty heavy conversation to be having with an eight year old and to be honest it was so I should give you all a bit of background on why I was having this Father Son talk with my little bloke.
A bit over two years ago his Mum and I split up and these situations are always hardest on the kids and unfortunately it has affected Robbie's self esteem and as a result he often becomes quite sad and suffers from pretty bad anxiety. Last weekend the little fella was having one of these moments so I took the time to sit and have a chat which is not easy when he gets in this sort of mood but I persisted.
I won't go into all the details of the situation but after a little while he began to get involved in the conversation and I asked him how he was feeling and he said "I'm angry" I then asked him do you like to feel that way and he replied "No but I can't help it" then I said you know you can change that right now if you want to!
He looked up with a frown and said How? I explained in the simplest terms that our feelings are controlled by what we are thinking about. He looked at me and said I don't believe you Dad we can't change the way we feel that's just how we feel if I hurt myself it's not going to not hurt just because I think it's not. I went on to explain that I wasn't talking about physical pain and he was right if you put your hand in a fire and think about it being cool your going to get your hand burnt but feelings like sadness, anger and happiness can all be changed by what we think and we can change them anytime we want.
I asked him to try something and he said What? I asked him how he was feeling now and he replied I'm still angry so I said OK I'm going to do some things and you tell me how I'm feeling, he reluctantly said OK. So I sat up straight put my shoulders back and chest out and grinned the biggest cheesiest grin I could and said so how am I feeling? He answered happy. Next I slumped my shoulders, lowered my head and let my face go slack and said How do I feel now? He answered Sad. Lastly I crossed by arms and put a frown on my face and said How do I feel now? He answered angry.
I said OK mate so how did you know I was happy? he said your were smiling, OK how did you know I was sad? he said you put your head down, OK what about angry how did you know I was angry? he said your eyebrows. Hmm I said so now I want you to do something. At first I was met with I don't want to Dad I'm not in the mood but eventually he was up for it. I asked again how are you feeling? annoyed he replied I told you Dad I'm angry. I said to him sit up straight , put your shoulders back, chest out and smile, no bigger c'mon really smile. He did and I asked again and straight away he slumped and went back to his angry posture and said I'm still angry. No I said you need to stay up straight and smiling when you answer after about four attempts he was able to stay in his happy position when he answered and this time the answer I feel a little bit less angry.
Next we spoke about what he thought about when he felt bad and I asked him when you feel sad or angry do you think about the things that made you sad or angry and he said yes. So I well if sad thoughts make you sad how do you think happy thoughts will make you feel? He answered with a cautious Happy?
I went on to tell him his mind was like the bush and when our thoughts travel the make tracks. I then asked him whats the easiest way to get through the bush and he said "The way you know" OK but what do you walk on? he said the tracks. Uh Ha!
I explained that because he thought those negative thoughts a lot that this made a big wide track that his thoughts found it easy to go down so I said we need to make a new track and stop using the old one and explained that if we did this with good thoughts to make the new track and stopped using the old track by thinking bad thoughts that the bush would grow over the old track which we named "Cranky Road" and his mind would get used to driving down the new one called "Happy Road" He looked at me and I could see his young mind grasping the idea so we had to create some happy thoughts that he could use and we spent a while talking about all the fun times we've had and he got his first lesson in visualisation. We then agreed that it's always more fun driving down the road with some great music so I told him we need to take his old C.D. of sad songs out and we did, we then got a knife and scratched the C.D. so it couldn't play anymore then we made up some silly funny songs to go on the new C.D and I got him to pop in back in the top of his head and I pressed his nose for the play button and sang the silly song, he found this hysterical and really began to laugh.
I then asked him was he still angry and he looked at me and said oh yeah I forgot about that.
Have an exceptional Week...
Rob Larney
Director and Life Balance Mentor
Exceptional Life Balance
http://exceptionallifebalance.com
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Attitude of Gratitude
G'day all
This week I'd like to talk about giving thanks for all the good things we have in our lives. Now you might be saying hang on a sec Robbo my life sucks at the moment I hate my job, the banks threatening to take my house and my wife/ husband significant other wont talk to me. Whatever it is your going through and believe me we all go through these things to varying degrees and some point in our lives you've still got plenty to be grateful for.
I believe if we don't make being grateful a habit it closes our eyes to many many opportunities and experiences that are out there waiting for us. When things get tough it's even more important we don't get into a downward spiral where all we see is what's going wrong and then the ever present Law of Attraction does it's thing and sends you what you focus on so therefore focus just on your problems your going to get more of them.
That doesn't mean you just think happy thoughts and ignore your problems you still need to deal with life's issues but it will certainly help you get some perspective on your life and realise there is still plenty of good in your world. It will help you leave your private pity party and get on with getting back on track.
A technique I like to use is something I got from Tony Robbins called morning power questions. I have these on my bathroom mirror and first thing every morning before I start my day I ask and answer them and yep you guessed it one of those questions is "What am I grateful for in my life right now?"
I then go on to give thanks for my beautiful kids, my wonderful partner, my health, my business,to live in a free country,for the lessons I've learned you get the picture.
If you haven't tried living with an attitude of gratitude I challenge you to give it a go for 3 weeks and see the change it will make in your life, why 3 weeks well that's the time it takes to develop a new habit. After all what's it going to cost you? Being grateful is 100% free
Until next time have an exceptional week
Rob Larney
Director and Life Balance Mentor
Exceptional Life Balance
http://exceptionallifebalance.com
This week I'd like to talk about giving thanks for all the good things we have in our lives. Now you might be saying hang on a sec Robbo my life sucks at the moment I hate my job, the banks threatening to take my house and my wife/ husband significant other wont talk to me. Whatever it is your going through and believe me we all go through these things to varying degrees and some point in our lives you've still got plenty to be grateful for.
I believe if we don't make being grateful a habit it closes our eyes to many many opportunities and experiences that are out there waiting for us. When things get tough it's even more important we don't get into a downward spiral where all we see is what's going wrong and then the ever present Law of Attraction does it's thing and sends you what you focus on so therefore focus just on your problems your going to get more of them.
That doesn't mean you just think happy thoughts and ignore your problems you still need to deal with life's issues but it will certainly help you get some perspective on your life and realise there is still plenty of good in your world. It will help you leave your private pity party and get on with getting back on track.
A technique I like to use is something I got from Tony Robbins called morning power questions. I have these on my bathroom mirror and first thing every morning before I start my day I ask and answer them and yep you guessed it one of those questions is "What am I grateful for in my life right now?"
I then go on to give thanks for my beautiful kids, my wonderful partner, my health, my business,to live in a free country,for the lessons I've learned you get the picture.
If you haven't tried living with an attitude of gratitude I challenge you to give it a go for 3 weeks and see the change it will make in your life, why 3 weeks well that's the time it takes to develop a new habit. After all what's it going to cost you? Being grateful is 100% free
Until next time have an exceptional week
Rob Larney
Director and Life Balance Mentor
Exceptional Life Balance
http://exceptionallifebalance.com
Thursday, 3 November 2011
Delayed Gratification
Deferred gratification and delayed gratification denote a person’s ability to wait in order to obtain something that he or she wants. This intellectual attribute is also called impulse control, will power, self control, and “low” time preference, in economics. Sociologically, good impulse control is considered a positive personality trait, which psychologist Daniel Goleman indicated as an important component trait of emotional intelligence. Moreover, people who lack the psychological trait of being able to delay gratification are said to require instant gratification and might suffer poor impulse control. The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment indicates that good impulse control might be psychologically important for academic achievement and for success in adult life.[1]
This is how wikepedia describes it but put more simply it's all about doing the work today to get a result or achieve a goal in the future. In today's society many of us are conditioned to buy now pay later we are bombarded with ads of buy now and no repayment and no interest for the next two years, we live the champagne lifestyle on the beer budget. We live in a world of instant gratification and this is the reason for out of control household debt and why so many work hard every week just to try and keep their head above water.
To be successful we need to practice the art of delayed gratification and if your impatient by nature like I am this can be easier said than done. but being patient is just part of it what is more important is to have an unswerving belief in what you are doing and a razor sharp focus on the goal.
One way I have found to keep myself on track is to make sure I stop and celebrate the little successes along the way this helps me to see that I am making progress even if it isn't as quick as I would like and lets be honest when is it ever as quick as we would like.
To climb the ladder out of mediocrity we all need to be willing to take and element of risk but the risks need to be calculated and not reckless, we need to have a clear plan of what is required and then we need to take massive action to move us in the right direction and it's then we need to put into practice the art of delayed gratification for momentum takes time to build and you need to give your efforts time to flourish, just imagine a farmer that planted his crop and for a week he watered them everyday but then thought this is taking way to long so he just went away and planted some more seeds then only watered them for a week. How do you think he will go when it comes harvest time compared to the farmer that tended his crop right through the growing season and had a bumper harvest.
Like the smart farmer we need to plant our seeds, tend our crops and give them time to grow
Have an Exceptional Day
This is how wikepedia describes it but put more simply it's all about doing the work today to get a result or achieve a goal in the future. In today's society many of us are conditioned to buy now pay later we are bombarded with ads of buy now and no repayment and no interest for the next two years, we live the champagne lifestyle on the beer budget. We live in a world of instant gratification and this is the reason for out of control household debt and why so many work hard every week just to try and keep their head above water.
To be successful we need to practice the art of delayed gratification and if your impatient by nature like I am this can be easier said than done. but being patient is just part of it what is more important is to have an unswerving belief in what you are doing and a razor sharp focus on the goal.
One way I have found to keep myself on track is to make sure I stop and celebrate the little successes along the way this helps me to see that I am making progress even if it isn't as quick as I would like and lets be honest when is it ever as quick as we would like.
To climb the ladder out of mediocrity we all need to be willing to take and element of risk but the risks need to be calculated and not reckless, we need to have a clear plan of what is required and then we need to take massive action to move us in the right direction and it's then we need to put into practice the art of delayed gratification for momentum takes time to build and you need to give your efforts time to flourish, just imagine a farmer that planted his crop and for a week he watered them everyday but then thought this is taking way to long so he just went away and planted some more seeds then only watered them for a week. How do you think he will go when it comes harvest time compared to the farmer that tended his crop right through the growing season and had a bumper harvest.
Like the smart farmer we need to plant our seeds, tend our crops and give them time to grow
Have an Exceptional Day
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
Little Sacrifices
It seems just about everyone you talk to these days would like to improve their life but it never ceases to amaze me just how few are willing to make the sacrifice required to make those changes.
No matter what area of your life you want to change you are going to have to change the way you do things simply if nothing changes then nothing changes, You've all probably heard the definition of insanity
"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result"
So you have to be constantly asking yourself what are you prepared to sacrifice in order to get you what you really want? If the answer is nothing or not much then I suggest you give up now and go back to whatever you usually do because as I said before if nothing changes nothing changes.
A colleague of mine related a story to me just the other day about a lady who filled out a form on his website that indicated she was interested in getting some more information on a business oppotunity so he gave her a call that evening and asked her if she had 10 minutes and was able to access the internet so he could explain some of the information. Her response flawed him as she said she was relaxing in front of the television and it was too much of a bother to turn on the computer.
So what happened with this lady you ask, well my colleague politely told her he didn't think she would be a fit for his business and wished her well. I relate this story because it demonstrates that just to want something is not enough you have to be willing to to make the sacrifice and take action.
I am a big fan of the Law of Attraction as demonstrated in the move The Secret however I do have a problem with some peoples version of it that is you just ask the universe and it will come to you. I believe this to be one of the biggest loads of crap, How I believe the law of attraction works is you focus on what you want and the universe or your subconcious mind whatever you care to call it will show you a way to obtain it that may be in the way of an opportunity or a vehicle in which to acheive whatever your goal is but if you fail to take that opportunity or vehicle and work it then all you have is a missed opportunity.
Another really important thing to realise is that initially you may feel that you are actually moving further away from that thing that you want, what do I mean? well lets say your goal is to start up a business from home so that you can earn a great income and spend more time with your family but your not in a financial position to quit your day job so you find yourself working your normal 40 hours per week and then getting up early and staying up late to try and find another 20 hours a week to get your business up and running.
All of a sudden you now have less time with the family. The danger here is you get what you focus on and if you focus on having less time that's exactly what you will attract more of. What you need to do here is focus on getting the most out of those additional 20 hours a week and being as productive as possible because that way your business will take off and sooner than you think you can quit the day job which gives you back that 40 hours plus whatever you commute everyday and your goal of more time with the family has become a reality and why? Because you were willing to sacrifice that extra 20 hours per week in the short term to get your goal for the longterm.
Have an exceptional Day
No matter what area of your life you want to change you are going to have to change the way you do things simply if nothing changes then nothing changes, You've all probably heard the definition of insanity
"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result"
So you have to be constantly asking yourself what are you prepared to sacrifice in order to get you what you really want? If the answer is nothing or not much then I suggest you give up now and go back to whatever you usually do because as I said before if nothing changes nothing changes.
A colleague of mine related a story to me just the other day about a lady who filled out a form on his website that indicated she was interested in getting some more information on a business oppotunity so he gave her a call that evening and asked her if she had 10 minutes and was able to access the internet so he could explain some of the information. Her response flawed him as she said she was relaxing in front of the television and it was too much of a bother to turn on the computer.
So what happened with this lady you ask, well my colleague politely told her he didn't think she would be a fit for his business and wished her well. I relate this story because it demonstrates that just to want something is not enough you have to be willing to to make the sacrifice and take action.
I am a big fan of the Law of Attraction as demonstrated in the move The Secret however I do have a problem with some peoples version of it that is you just ask the universe and it will come to you. I believe this to be one of the biggest loads of crap, How I believe the law of attraction works is you focus on what you want and the universe or your subconcious mind whatever you care to call it will show you a way to obtain it that may be in the way of an opportunity or a vehicle in which to acheive whatever your goal is but if you fail to take that opportunity or vehicle and work it then all you have is a missed opportunity.
Another really important thing to realise is that initially you may feel that you are actually moving further away from that thing that you want, what do I mean? well lets say your goal is to start up a business from home so that you can earn a great income and spend more time with your family but your not in a financial position to quit your day job so you find yourself working your normal 40 hours per week and then getting up early and staying up late to try and find another 20 hours a week to get your business up and running.
All of a sudden you now have less time with the family. The danger here is you get what you focus on and if you focus on having less time that's exactly what you will attract more of. What you need to do here is focus on getting the most out of those additional 20 hours a week and being as productive as possible because that way your business will take off and sooner than you think you can quit the day job which gives you back that 40 hours plus whatever you commute everyday and your goal of more time with the family has become a reality and why? Because you were willing to sacrifice that extra 20 hours per week in the short term to get your goal for the longterm.
Have an exceptional Day
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